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25 February Frederik Kerling - Is that alright?Is it okay, for me to just sit here?
Across the room, In front of you. And is it alright, If I just look at you? While you sleep, and think of love, But not of me. And is it bad, that I remember the past, the fire between us we once shared. Was It bad, that I took you away, From your sanity, out in the open. Or simply pushed you along the open, You already were opening? Is it okay, for me to just sit here? Across the room, In front of you. And is it alright, If I just look at you? While you sleep, and think of love, But not of me. In your eyes, where I no longer exist. Extinguished, pushed away in the dead past. Where I lie dying, blamed for so much, Joined by parts of you, to young to go. That obstructed your noble cause. You already were fighting? Is it okay, for me to just sit here?
Across the room, In front of you. And is it alright, If I just look at you? While you sleep, and think of love, But not of me. And I sit here, with my head next to you. Your eyes are closed, they tell not tale. But you don't mind, You calm When I leave my hand on your forehead. In the middle of the dark night. I must have done something right. Is it okay, for me to just sit here? Across the room, In front of you. Is it okay, for me to just sit here? Across the room, In front of you. Is it alright? While you sleep, and think of love, But not of me. It is okay, It is alright. 10 February You do not need to searchA few simple words... Nothing much really. The question remains, simple and adequate: How badly do you want me to understand? Contradictive arguments are meaningless in the rapidness the words of thought, that circle one's mind. And To either leave you alone on one occasion, has turned into the complete stalking of the other. Stalking not by my own. If I do not have to look, If I do not have to search. Then why is it that you make sure, that wherever I look, I have, just have to encounter you. As I were part of a carefully worked out scheme. But not carefully enough. Perhaps I should remain, with that one first thing I though right at the beginning. which you so comfortably told me was wrong. Cause most likely you don't even want me to look. As a search most often is. It have to find, I don't have to look. Nothing I did lately, haven't you noticed? Actually I refrained myself from trying to understand any thing of you psyche often, day in and day out. You were no enigma, no riddle, not even a question. You were just there and nothing else. And you tell me not to search? I don't know what it is that you want me to find out. And perhaps I do. But does it matter? To what extend should I honour my own rules, and to what extend should I break them? Should I pretend to be lost? Should I pretend to be stupid? Should I keep on pretending, which frankly is no option. Or should I show something of me. Yes, sure I make mistakes, I do not understand so many things. And you will not give me the answer. And answer which I cannot even search. Irony has it, that I never wanted an answer. I never asked the question, unless someone gave me the reason to ask. Do I want to know the answer? How content can I be, with just what I have. Or for those who know me, what would be a greater challenge? I must say, I would have otherwise persuaded actively for answers. Change, I don't believe that, Because change doesn't require faith. Chance requires realisation. To realise that things change, and more importantly at what rate they can change. Nothing can change so fast as a human mind. It can be made up, or messed up. But all so valiantly rapidly. And what is the use of such valiant words??? I know change, I know change, is seconds, or less. I know change is minds, just edges away from each other, but also I know, that change in minds, is not always noticed by those minds. Though this has nothing to do with this topic. In a way it does, the simple confidence that our realisation of change is aptly enough to be complete. As if we know, and understand our entire change. I cannot be that vain, to say I understand all of my change, Subsequently I am honoured to be lead around the world, by that same law. One cannot be conscious of every strive for understanding of anything let alone one self. then where do you kick in? You are changing and no one seems to notice? Sure, people notice it. But do you? in full extend no. It requires discipline to put oneself above oneself, moreover it takes a much greater amount of discipline to look at ones behaviour objectively. And moreover it requires a for me almost unattainable amount of effort to be fully loose of any self-judgment or confidence whatsoever. So that my final objective answer, is always resorted to a mere amount of words. a sentence at best. So what is I that I do not need to search? You, because you already make sure, you are in my head. 08 February I boil boil, because there are still various people who do not think they need to respect others. That those people think that they do need to respect what they do not understand. |
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